My Life is Just Perfect...? Um, No.

Just when life gets a little better. I always find a way to make it worse.
I was about to get a new phone for my birthday, the one that I wanted. 


But then I lost my phone, so no..this christmas I won't get a new phone. 
While all my friends have new 4g phones, I probably won't even have a phone.


It would help so much if they could have just returned it... we all know someone found it. 


I have been having the worse weeks of my life. And my birthday is in three days. This will be my first birthday depressed ever. And its not just over my phone. *I'm not like that*. My great aunt died. My grandmother is sick. My mom seems to be getting sick because her stomach won't stop hurting. My dad...whatever. My grandpa is having walking troubles. {I have no one left in my life, what is going on}. Oh and the car broke down, so I couldn't have my highschool interview at the school I really wanted to go to, and I didn't get a scholarship.
What's next?


Normally I have an idea of how to make things better, and what to do. But right now I have no next steps. I can't even process a thought. I thought I had a happy life, untill now. I think I'm just gonna sit back and watch it all play out. There is really nothing else I can do.


My life is just perfect. 

My Life Officially Sucks

Okay, so this week has been the official worst week of my life. Not one good thing has happened to me yet. So...here is a list. 

1) Did bad on one of my highschool entrance test.

2) My mom's car broke down.

3) Didn't get anything done this week in school.

4) What are my grades?

5) Um..I'm still single.

6) Lost my phone, but its not like anyone was texting me anyway.

7) Oh, and by lost a mean lost, like its gone.

8) My life is a disaster. There is not one good thing in it.

What do I do next...because i really have no clue.

I guess it goes down the drain from here.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Over the past few weeks I've ran into this scripture so many times. 


I wouldn't say that is a coincidence..


It really applies to me now...life brings alot of thoughts and doubts. I've been wondering where life is really taking me, what I want to have a career in, how I want to be able to give to others when I get older. I honestly don't know...and for a second I felt down about it, like I wasn't meant to do anything. Like a wasn't good at anything or useful to anyone. But this opened my eyes a little bit.


This scripture does give me a feeling of hope, which I badly needed.

Well...do I have news for you...:).

So...I have had this thing this year, if you didn't notice before...im having this phase.

I want to try absolutely everything.

So...the two knew things would be:

1. Lacrosse
2. Eating Better!
3. Exercise!

Next year will be my first year of highschool...so..things need to change now.

I'm not the most athletic person.

Last year...i was better than ever. I could actually walk 2 miles without getting a cramp. Which was super progress for me. Then sometime over the summer, that was all lost. 

I actually have a lot to worry about. 2 highschool placement test. Scholarships. And all that good stuff. But I think It will be a good experience. Trust me... I can deal with it, and I'm not just sayin.

So...added on to my goal list for the year [well a new one because I have no clue where the actual one went :( Maybe im not so good] is to play a sport every single season. 

I'm actually pumped.

The only thing...is what my mother going to say.

So..I'm going to ask her right now.

Bye Bye.

Shadowingg.

So today I shadowed at a highschool.

and it was typically boring.

It was like being in school, but just sitting there watching.

Maybe it was the person that I shadowed...but It was just insanely boring.

The girl that I was shadowing didn't seem to popular...but luckily they didn't seem to split into cliquey groups.

I would hope she would tell me if they did...she didn't tell me too much about student life. And her opinion. That would have been appreciated.

Isn't it like impossible to have a high school that is drama free?

but everyone seemed to like each other...insane.

She did tell me that some of the cheerleaders were the typical. 

That is a (-).

I hope that the next school I shadow at impresses me more.

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ALSO.

Saw 3D is out..or coming out? Haha I don't know..i just saw the preview. My cousin is coming home to visit this weekend. So we wanna go see it. I will have to tell you all about that because I am scared..and won't sleep for months. I saw the first ones and they are really creepy...and give you thoughts of things happening to you that you would normally never ponder about. They are good movies though besides all the blood. Well adios! Yo quiero duermo.

Uh-Oh.

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Okay..so our spanish projects are due....Wednesday. 

So, we were going to edit it today in computer. 

BUT...

Well...

Hmm..

So...we did our video on a camcorder..that loaded straight to a disc. Which..seemed PERFECT! So all we had to do put it in the computer..and import it, then edit. 

According to the all masterful Mr. Bruce. 

We can't play the disc. 

BECAUSE. Its one of those tiny disc...(a dvd-r) and to play that you have to have a tray disc thingy. HOW WERE WE SUPPOSED TO FLIPPING KNOW THAT. Anyway....so whatever..we will just have to work it out. I hope we will be ok. But..if you never hear from me again..you know what happen.

Well..anyway, I'm in computer class. And me and "M" my partner in crime have nothing to do.

AND we are feeling down because we have to sit here and listen to everyone else editing their project. Maybe not..someone else's might not be working. oh dang yes it is.

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So Much Has Happen...

This weekend was as exciting as non-exciting can get. 

I was actually with my dad this weekend, which most of the time I don't like because where ever we go I feel out of my element. I don't know...I don't really understand it. Anteewayys. I have to rewind to about three weeks ago. 

My aunt had picked me up from my school's skating party. Which we have every year after picture day. She was taking me to meet my dad for a football game. I ABSOLUTELY ADORE FOOTBALL. So...I was sitting there. A situation where I feel out of my element. And I hear my dad say "Theres that boy that we are trying to set you up with". WHO FORGOT TO TELL ME THIS? 

First of all I looked a mess. I wasn't prepared for this. My dad is the one who is always threatning every boy he sees. Literally. I had no clue what to do...so I kinda just sat there while he waved at me. Oh my I need help.

So...back to the present-ish time. 

I went to a another football game on Saturday, which was a little kids game. Like 10 year olds...so nevermind. I told you I LOVE football so I never deny the chance to go to a game. Now..me thinking this was a game where 10 year olds are playing, they normally aren't to exciting...which means no cute boys. So..my guard was completely down. Then I hear my dad..who was about 10 feet away from me, say, "Where is he?" I automatically freak out because I know exactly who he is talking about and this was the worst moment ever because this was the second time he just popped up at this random time. Sad to say he was scared to talk to me. The second time that happened to me this year. He'll come around.

But until then. 

I am not letting my guard down again until I'm absolutely sure I'm safe.

Let Me Introduce You...

There is this girl. I guess her name can be...M, and all she does is strive for attention. She used to be my really close friend untill i realized she was semi crazy. And i mean really crazy. Like you have never seen before. She wrote this note, to a girls boyfriend whom she text all the time because she used to like him "more" saying that the she likes another boy. Trying to break them up of coarse. So everyone else in the grade kinda teamed up on the girl while we were outside on break one day. Asking her why and what the point was. Then all this other stuff came up. 

Oh and there was also the dance. M  didn't come. She went to another dance. Where she continued to start things. I don't really mind all the drama this year, because I'm never really involved. I just lay back, relax and watch it all play out. 

So before..I talked about how girls go trough times when they really hate being single. I'm going through one of those times. let me tell you it sucks Its all you think about. I hopefully will get over it soon, because I didn't plan on going out with anyone this year. I wanted to wait untill I got into my new school. Ugh. 

OH! Guess WHAT! Its almost my birthday. I think I will start the countdown...just a sec..

Okay..done with that. 

Also..I already finished my Christmas list yes I still make them. 

It takes me a while, because it has to be a christmas list...but i have to include what I want for my birthday too.

Its like squeezing both into one reasonable priced list. 

and so far I have only ask for 4 things. Amazing. 5 if you count the early christmas gift that I asked for.

Dance, Dance Like its the Last, Last Night of our LIFE!

I'm at school...in my computer lab. Yepp. LOL. We have the new mac computers, which are super cool...so I JUST HAD TO update my blog from them. My friends are taking guitar lessons so I can be in here now. Normally I doubt I would be allowed to get on here.

Hopefully I will be taking guitar lessons soon. I just haven't got around to getting a guitar. Its kinda hard for me to decide on things. So...its just taking me a while to decide on what type of guitar I want. No worries...I will decided soon. When I get atleast 30 minutes of free time. which is never


We also have a dance tonight. Which is going to be really fun. Most of the time our dances are drama free..and we all just have a good time. This year we will be the oldest kids at the dance. So I hope its fun.

Anyway I'm gonna go because I think my typing is getting on Mr.Bs nerves. hahaha.

Oh yeah...that reminds me. I wasn't at school yesterday because of my allergies. So..today I lost my voice..and can't hear due to sinus congestion. Well..this is going to be fun. thats also why i didn't know my typing was that loud

Horoscopes

I actually do read them. Like daily. They always seem true to me...or true enough. I have three different apps for them on my iPod and sometimes I read them on yahoo. It's not a weird obsession or anything. It can just be really insightful when you feel clueless about life.

Today..I was really in a clueless mood. One of those when you question those around you, and where you think you will be in the future. I thought about things I needed to accomplish in life...and all "fancy" stuff.

So..with school...


Today I had, i'll call her Mrs. K, and she really bothers me. One class I came really close to really yelling at her. All my friends were staring at me like I was about to explode or something. That had bothered me all weekend. Until today I realized I wasn't the only one that felt that way. She isn't the nicest teacher. She seems to always find something that someone did wrong, and she will comment on it. Even right it front of them, but she will cover it up like she isn't even talking about it. Sigh


I also had to give a speech this morning..it was homework. I did terrible. I am never good at things like that.
__________________________

On the plus side. I heard a quote today. It wouldn't be the first time I heard it..but it just sounded good on a day like this.

"Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened."


I also get a new guitar sometime this week. Can't wait to have something to take my mind away from everything.


That would be it. :)

The Reason Why...

The reason why I deleted my last blog was because a friend of mine found it...
We are at a birthday party, and we were playing on my friends Ipad which is really cool, but if you have an Ipod Touch...its not really necessary unless you want to type documents and read books. Reading being the only reason I wanted one. And I decided I would show them my blog...because I figured that I could just show them certain post. And yes I deleted the history.

So the next day...I was sitting at home and my friend text me saying "I found your blog" I asked her "what the heck, how did you find it?. She said "I memorized the web address". Then she continued to ask me questions about my post, and who they were about. So of-course I was pissed. To me blogs are something that mainly should be kept private if you use it like I do. They wanted to see it, so I showed them...but not giving them permission to stalk me on it. So..i changed the name..and never get on it anymore.

So..maybe I should have never let it slip that I had one.

So..school had started.

Enough Said.

Its actually not that bad. There is no continuing drama, but I did lose a best friend. She is now just a friend, which kinda sucks. 

Anyway...its story time :)

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I have this friend...who is desperate for a boyfriend. I think everyone goes through it, even I have been through it. I just feel so bad for her because: 1) She really isn't mature enough to be in the type of boyfriend-girlfriend relationship that she wants. 2) When she likes a boy she never takes my advice to talk to him.(she even had me talk to "him" once for her and that totally didn't work out) 3) She makes it so obvious that she is desperate, and I know that boys catch on to that. I just don't know what to do. It seems that I am the one that people lean on for help. And with her, if I needed advice like this, there is no way she would make even an effort to help me. So...I question why I try. It actually stresses me out.

Thats also a reason that I am glad school started. At our school there aren't many relationships. As of right now..none. And when there is a relationship, the whole school knows. There are about 300 kids at my school, so it makes sense. Us being the eight graders, we basically rule the school. (hahaha do people still say that?). Relationships in our class DO NOT HAPPEN. That is because there are not enough boys for girls, and our boys are immature. So we seek relationships outside of school. So..during the school year I bring on the stress. So my mind can be taken off everything else. :|

I was thinkin...

I was thinking...and I wish I could just freeze everything in time. I don't want anything to change...besides the small things. I don't want to go to highschool, because I have to leave all the friends I love. Even those who I don't necessarily get along with, you made a difference in my life. The best part about going to a school like ours is the life-long friendships you will make. These friends I know I will never lose. Though far away somehow we may always be close in a way. I know I have to go to highschool, so this last year of 8th grade I will cherish. Not just my friends, but the teachers who were like parents to me. I know I may never find anything like. I will be sad, but proud to graduate from my school. It isn't the end, but far in the beginning. I have alot ahead. Without this 8 year experience I don't know where I would be. I will always go back to visit the memories. When I step on the campus I will feel home. Its the only place I know. From the 10 hour days I was stuck in Latchkey to the many trips to the nurses office. From the lunch bill that was always late to the Friday Game Days in second grade. I hate to leave, but I'm afraid life must go on. This will be my last year at this school but the beginning of life.

Soull!

Ok...this car i keep seeing everywhere...the Kia Soul...

You know.."you can get with this, or you can get with that"

THE HAMSTERS!

Anyway..I wan't a brown one, or "java" I guess. (I have a while before I need to worry about cars, but i still think about it).

Then there is the Charger. Now I have secretly loved that car for so long...and feel terrible that I am cheating on it with the Kia Soul because my mom doesn't like the charger. The Kia Soul is more in her price range. But i know..deep down one day I will get a charger, and drive it happily ever after. (Kinda Dramatized but you understand I hope) This is the one i want..but i'm not to sure about colors...Lime Green, Gold? If I have a charger...I want to stand out from the rest.

No, I didn't break the internet.

It was torture..no facebook is the worst thing.

I made it a whole day only using the internet on my phone because the wifi in our house wasn't working. The internet on my phone is slow...and I have to stay in one place for fear if i move...i will lose all my bars. Maybe thats just T-Mobile. So this morning, well maybe an hour ago my grandma came in my room and gave me the phone to talk to some creep. He talked with this weird monotone voice that was really quiet. I hope he was ok :/ He told me how to fix the computer though. Thank-god.

Im also getting a new phone in december when our plan with T-Mobile runs out, and i have my eyes set on this lucky phone right here.

I don't really care about all the stuff they say is wrong with it...as long as it can get what I need, I'm fine. I think I have a little bit of patience. haha. It doesn't go to verizon untill january..so i'm hoping out plan last a bit longer.

Pictures For Aunt..*FAIL*

So my grandparents had been bugging me to go take pictures of the flowers outside for weeks now. I wasn't sure how i was going to do it because I lost the camera cord, to put them on the computer. So instead of just taking the pictures and then finding the camera cord...I did it the other way around. And now all the pretty flowers are dead. I guess I learned my lesson. They wouldn't be dead though if it had RAINED!

Always Overreacting...

So...its almost the time for my HPST (that test you take to get into the highschool you like). And I left the book at my dad's house. Which i was glad of because my mom was trying  to make me study literally all freakin day long. We are going to have classes for it during the school year...so I don't see what the big deal is. Me and one other girl being the only students in the grade that bought the book. So...i decided that I am just going to go along with it...and actually study. Yes...study. I even made a set of rules for myself for today.

RULES


1) Can only get on facebook for 10 minutes every two hours.
2)No textersations...just small text chats.
3)BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH (forgot the rest..)



If you know me, you would know my terrible study habits. Normally I start to study, and everything is fine. Then someone comes along with some MAJOR distraction (food, new movie, ect...). Then I stop studying. My mom doesnt even notice for like an hour. Then i get yelled at What are you doing? You aren't studying! Then she goes on with some stuff about how its all my fathers fault. Somehow everything is his fault these days. Not hers, who i have lived with for all my life.

Well...seems like I won't be going anywhere until November, when the test is over.

TRYING TO BE POSITIVE HERE!

Another story about how boys can ruin ones day. or week. or month.

So this guy starts talking to my friend on facebook. And I get the total FREAK ALERT feeling. But he IS our age...lives in our city..and another one of my friends knew him from pre-school. He still seemed like the total player. Or atleast wannabe player. They start talking..and she gets interested.

REASON WHY THAT WAS A TOTAL MISTAKE:


Never get interested in someone like this..someone that says that they are really crazy about you when you don't really even know them. The probability is that they tell the same things to other girls.
_________________________________

My friend acts like she has boy experience...and has been through alot with them. But she has never had a boyfriend in her life. Niether have I...but I have experience with alot of boys...i grew up with two older step brothers who has ALOT of friends. I have been through hell with those boys. ANYWAY back to my story :(.

She really doesn't realize what she is getting herself into..so she starts texting him..which goes on for weeks. I added him on facebook...and he IMs me..asking for my number and all this stuff..he was interested, but I gave him the blind turndown (when you turn them down, but don't make it so obvious that you are turning them down). maybe it was more like a shutdown.
I didn't tell her though..knowing that she wouldn't understand.

Now she is obsessed with him. A guy she doesn't know. And she has made herself depressed because he is now taken. REALLY?!? He is really nothing to worry about. He isn't even that cute..the only atractive part of him is his 8 pack....(ive seen pictures.)

I have no clue what to do but leave this alone. I've tried to tell her but she won't believe me. She even asked me if I thought she (his girlfriend) was pretty. I didn't lie..and i said yes. She kinda needs to get over this because its making me sick.

Ok..so the other day :/ (well actually last month)

I will try to make this short..so some parts won't be included.

We (me and two friends) were at my friend's church for a festival. There were 3 boys there around our age..and one she liked. SO we do what most girls do.

THE AVOID AND WATCH

You keep and eye out for them...and sometimes just checking them out..but avoid being in the same room as them.

YOU CANT:

-eat

-get in trouble

-trip

-cry

-sneeze

-or anything else that may lead to something super embarrassing.

Its pretty tough, but luckily comes naturally to most girls.

Then while we were in the gym (her church is also a school). We were talking and decided that we were going to go walking around the school. My friends were playing around in a hallway..when we hear the boys are in the gym. So eventually we end up going in there. 

THEN ITS RAINING

My hair had just been done..so i couldn't go out there...their hair had just been done too..but they had jackets. So they leave me in the gym (no wonder we aren't such best friends anymore). I decided to just sit there...but then it got akward so i went to go look for them. I walk out into the hallway and call in the direction that they are in...but..the boy is fallowing me. And he says "My friend in there likes you..can you go talk to him?" So i freak out and say.."Hold on". My friend  likes him..and i'm not the man stealer type. 

So i just moped back in the gym...and here my "best" friends come through the door. *by now im thinking that they are the worst friends ever* And i told them what happen..and she was mad. 

Then they decide that they want me to like him..so they keep telling me to give him a hug and get his number. 

WHAT THE HECK. I THOUGHT U LIKED HIM!.

I was totally willing to not like him..because i didn't. He wasn't cute..to me atleast...but they kept nagging me about all thats happening..and that i should talk to him. I didn't want to hurt her feelings..and i couldn't tell what to do. 

So i get his number with no plans to use it...and when i walk outside to them..they were talking about me..and it was clear. For the rest of the day thats all she talked about...is me and him, who i don't know, don't like, and don't plan to call (hope its not to harsh). And now all she does is make fun of me with him. I honestly don't know what to do..but i can see this friendship is going downhill, with both friends.

First Post...Lets Get Right to It..

Can my life get any worse...or better?

My friend had a birthday party...with inflatables of-coarse.

*Life tip..never leave a bunch of 13 year olds with a bouncy house...the thing will get pulled down and trampled on...but its all in good fun as long as no one is seriously hurt*

It was fun...ish.

We spent the night watching movies, and talked about boys. (but non that i liked..because i like no boys).

I seem to be the type of girl that boys like to look at...and want. But then realize they can't have.

if they would maybe talk to me...they never know. I don't see myself as such though. Inside im pretty down to earth...and i don't reject easy. I don't know how to say no..so heres the typical convo with a guy:

Him: Hey

Me: Hi

Hi: Um, do you wanna hangout sometime?

Me: Um..ugh..i don't know..

Him: Ok..*walks away*

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Oh wait..i forgot..that never happens because they don't have the guts to talk to me..but i'm pretty sure thats what would.

Then there are the older guys. I absolutely HATE getting checked out by older men. Its disgusting to me, and makes me nauseous. My grandma just laughs at them...and makes jokes about how illegal it is.

I'm too young to worry about them anyway...but i'm pretty sure alot of boys will get a couple lines in my blog.

So heres to the start of a new blog *this would be my 3rd...maybe this one will work out*